Today, the world is craving human connection more than anything else, and I am no exception. But at least personally, I realize that this is something I’ve been looking for since longer than I care to admit. The current pandemic has merely brought this to the forefront.
We live in times where an occasional WhatsApp text or a short banter is considered “keeping in touch”. Most now find a caring interaction awkward. How often do we check on the people we love? Really check on them to see how they’re doing, keep track of what is happening in their lives. How often do we comfortable enough to call someone to share our joys and sorrows? How often do we talk to someone with a shared interest about that interest? No, not the banters or arguments that happen on a chat group with 200+ people. Meaningful conversation.
I recently watched Simon Sinek’s interview and he spoke of how the millennial generation, to which I belong, has forgotten to depend on the people in their lives to cope. Our friends and family are no longer viewed as someone who is supposed to help you cope. Instead, we depend on alcohol, social validation, success at work etc. to help us mask our pain. Not even cope or deal, just mask. Convince ourselves that we’re okay.
Take journaling for example – we have learnt to replace the need for a human being with a book. Many of us use journals as an outlet for our thoughts and emotions because we feel like we cannot trust another human being with them. That they may not have the mental or emotional capacity to hold a safe space for us to share. And also because we’re afraid of their response.
Today’s technology allows us to be in touch constantly. And what I see around me is that this knowledge that we can reach out to anybody whenever we want has made us complacent. We put off actually making the effort to establish and maintain a connection. Seeing somebody’s Instagram story makes us feel like we’re keeping in touch because we now have a glimpse into their life and we know what they’ve been up to. We’re no longer left to wonder how they are or what they’re doing. That tidbit of information makes us complacent. And this has resulted in a generation, possibly more than one generation, of lonely yet socially over-active people.
I’m looking to make genuine connections. Make friends that I know I can rely on. And I want to be there for somebody and know they will reach out with the trust that I will be there. I want to be allowed the space to make mistakes, be called out on them and also be able to call that friend out on a mistake and know I will not be ghosted. I want to know that I am not as easily ‘replaceable’. I no longer want to be just another friend on Facebook or a follower on Instagram that you can just switch up when you want to. I don’t want to be just another person on Whatsapp that you feel comfortable not responding to because you’ve got your read receipts off. I want to be the friend you WANT to respond to because you care.
Have we forgotten what it means to be a friend? A community? We seem to only get in touch with people when we want to have some fun, get drinks with, watch a movie with. Nobody is really up for having a genuine conversation, listening without judging. And without this, how does anybody find a community?
I can’t be the only one feeling this way. Write to me, and let’s figure this out together. Let’s build what we want. Let’s build a community of people where we form genuine connections, a place where we belong.
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